Excerpts from

Harlot's Sauce:

A Memoir of Food, Family, Love, Loss and Greece

.....I walked and walked along that beach, as far away as I could get. I waded over to one of the giant, craggy rocks that protruded from the water and climbed up, watching for sea urchins hidden in its crevices. I’d always remembered Gregori‘s warning about the ah-hee-nous on that first trip: “They sting if you step on them.”

I‘d been careful. I’d swum in the sea and sat on the rocks so many times and I’d never once tread on one. But I’d gotten stung, anyway, hadn’t I? I sat there alone and let myself cry. And as I did, the surrounding loveliness taunted me. Like Persephone, I was in a splendid place, but I just felt desolate and wanted to go home.

 The Evil Eye

.....My English friend, Joan, provides the ideal case study of how one’s whole perception of life can be altered after sustained association with those of us who take stock in “the evil eye.” Born and raised in Newcastle, Joan also married a Greek and has lived in Greece for the last twenty-odd years. Her family back in England hardly recognises her anymore. Oh, she still has the porcelain skin and the pretty blonde looks and she still speaks with the ‘Geordie’ accent, but she’s transformed herself as a result of her exposure to the Hellenic culture. To begin with, she cooks very well, with plenty of garlic, olive oil and fresh vegetables. She knows how to eat fish, not just the fried stuff with chips that her countrymen eat, but the kind that has the bones still in. Although she herself continues to be somewhat on the subdued side, she allows her children to make as much of a racket as their ‘pureblood’ Mediterranean friends and her dog can bark as much as he wants without her shushing him too harshly. She certainly has enough sense to know after all this time living there, that politely waiting in a queue in Greece will never get her anywhere she needs to go. She recognizes that she has to use her elbows defensively  to ‘block’ others behind from pushing ahead and she does it when necessary, though she still lacks the eagerness the Hellenes apply to it.

But the most striking change in Joan is that she has developed bone-felt awareness of “the evil eye.” She’ll be the first person to jump into a conversation and ‘fake spit,’ saying, “toof-toof-toof.” whenever she or someone else makes a comment that could bring forth the bad luck incurred by accidentally or on purpose, levelling “the evil eye.” (Spitting immediately after such a comment, is one of the ways to counteract this curse.)

Here‘s how and why one gets and gives “the evil eye:” Suppose one day, you wake up with a headache. A headache might just be a headache, maybe brought on from too much reading, or a second glass of wine. Or…maybe it’s evidence that someone gave you “the evil eye.” Maybe you looked particularly pretty yesterday, wearing your especially nice bracelet, when your neighbour came by for a coffee. She took one look at you and felt instant envy, but she doesn’t say she’s envious. Instead she says, “You look very pretty today. Is that a new bracelet?”

You say, “Yes. It’s an anniversary gift from my husband.”

She says, “Oh. An anniversary gift. How nice.”

You’ll notice she didn’t say, “You look very pretty today, bless your heart.” Or even, “ An anniversary gift. How nice. Toof-toof-toof.”

By not adding a blessing of any kind, or spitting, she’s giving you clues that she’s jealous and might mean to give you “the evil eye.” If you don’t take action against this, you or even your husband (who gave you the bracelet) might get a headache. Or if it’s a powerful “evil eye,” the flu. You might even break the clasp on your bracelet and lose it. You might find out that the reason your husband gave you the bracelet is because he is having an affair and wants to keep you happy and clueless.

Headaches, lost bracelets and infidelity happen. However, it’s only the savvy amongst us who know that when these events occur, they are not chance accidents. Your head was perfectly fine and you weren‘t losing your bracelet, until someone thought about you in a bad way. That thought’s aura filtered your surroundings and penetrated your skull, causing head pain. Or, it could have inundated the bracelet’s gold clasp and weakened it. Your marriage was also solid and secure until someone’s hateful thought wafted through the air, invaded your husband’s private parts and engendered an unholy desire. Now, if you’ve got something really spectacular that your neighbour especially covets; like a Mercedes, a great nose job, or an especially sweet and handsome husband - watch out. The better off you are, the more jealous others around you will be and the stronger the degree of force behind their “evil eye.” You might get into a terrible car accident with your Mercedes, your new nose might develop a horrible rash, or your husband might even die, which, depending on your point of view, might be even more appalling than his having an affair. All because of “the evil eye.” Toof-toof-toof.

Keep checking this site for information about this upcoming publication.

Release date: October 2008